Notes from the Woods

I saw a roadside sign this week that said, “When things go wrong, you don’t have to.”  

Think about that for a minute. Paint it in your favorite colors on some wall in your mind where you’ll see it now and then. 

Let it remind you that when events take an unexpected turn, you can snap yourself into the immediate reality and grab your chance to choose how you will respond, to ask yourself what the next best step really is.

Often when things go wrong, we react in some habitual, programmed way instead of choosing the best attitude to bring to the situation. We get mad or sad, irritated or angry. We pull inward and close ourselves up. 

Those kinds of emotions rob us of the broadened perception that allows us to find creative solutions. When you can interrupt your habitual response and center yourself for a moment, you’re much more likely to see greater possibilities.  

“When things go wrong, you don’t have to.” 

You can reach for something lighter, something higher, something kinder, something more helpful. A good place to begin is with acceptance of the fact that things seem to be going wrong, and that you seem to be not liking it at all. Okay. Yuckiness happens. And here it is. What’s the best way out?

Yuckiness, I’ve decided, is like quicksand. Fighting against it only makes things worse. You have to relax and take easy, deliberate motions toward solid ground. That’s what will save you.

When you can accept your circumstances for what they are and relax, you’ll be able to spot tools and means and opportunities that you would be blind to if you let yourself go wrong, too. But accept the pickle you’re in and you might even find yourself laughing at it all.

Maybe that’s the whole purpose behind Murphy’s Law. Maybe things go wrong just to give us the opportunity to discover what creative and resourceful beings we humans really are.  

Of course if I had a magic wand, I’d wish you a week where every day was smooth and filled with beauty and joy. But life is what it is, with its ups and downs, is delights and disappointments. So the best I can do is wish you a week where you’re awake and aware, a week that allows you savor the bits of goodness that even difficult days offer, and to remember that when things go wrong, you don’t have to.

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay}

After a week that held its share of attitude testing events, I found myself burrowing through my inspiration folder for a way to bolster myself against the temptation to give in to gloom. It had been a cold and dreary week in my little corner of the world, and I needed a lift.

When you notice that your spirit is sagging, it’s good to search for rays of light. We find what we look for, after all. Pro-actively seeking the positive is far healthier than allowing yourself to slide into a pit of gloom and despair. Pity parties are so boring.

I ran across a trick I liked from Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, positive psychology researcher. She suggests that when you’re on a gloomy patch of the road, you begin simply by asking yourself, “What’s good about this moment?” and expecting to find an answer.

I gave it a whirl. “What’s good about this moment?” I asked, as I felt the heaviness in my heart over the latest piece of news.

“This pain allows you to see the depth of your compassion for all who suffer,” some kind of inner knowing said. “In this moment, your love is overpowering, flowing through every molecule of you and out into everything in the world, and everyone you think of.”

I hadn’t expected an answer of that depth, but it put me in touch with what was going on in the center of me. And from there, it radiated out.

I noticed the colors around me, how the photos on the wall always made me smile, the way the light and shadows fell so softly around me. That was my love flowing out to my surroundings. I could feel it and it made me smile. Deeply. From the inside out, full of contentment and gratitude.

That’s the way it works. Ask what’s good about the moment, and in one form or another, the answers will present themselves to you.

I returned from my reverie to the open inspiration folder on my screen. My eyes fell on an exercise that I’d added last spring. It was an exercise you could do in the morning to begin your day on a note of hope.

That fit. It was hope I was seeking when I opened the folder in the first place.

This little exercise is from the book Five Good Minutes by Jeffrey Brantly, MD and Wendy Millstine. 

What you do is speak (to yourself, or our loud) a list of as many hopeful thoughts for yourself, your loved ones, the planet, and the universe as come to you, beginning each sentence with the words, “I have hope today . . .”

Here are some hope-filled suggestions the authors give to get you started:

“I have hope today that everything will go smoothly at work.”
“I have hope today that my family is healthy and happy.”
“I have hope today that my pet is feeling safe and content.”
“I have hope today that my friends and loved ones are having good experiences in life.”
“I have hope today that peace on earth will infect the planet and restore harmony.”

You get the idea. Make up your own.

The brilliant thing about the exercise is hidden in the wording. Not only are you sending good wishes to yourself, your loved ones, and the larger world, but you are reminding yourself that you have hope, that it resides inside you.

Writer Barbara Kingsolver has this to say on the subject. “The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is to live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”

This little morning exercise lets you do just that: name what you hope for, and then live right under its roof all day.

Give it a try. I think you’ll like it.

Wishing you a week bright with high hopes and happiness.

Warmly,
Susan

PS
Haha! While I was writing this, song lyrics floated into my mind: “You gotta have hope. Mustn’t sit around and mope . . .” Check this out. It will give you a smile.

(You Gotta Have) Heart – Stereo – Broadway Classic Damn Yankees, 1958

^{Image by NoName_13 from Pixabay}

“Don’t fall for the spell. You are free.”

I borrowed that from a wise woman I’ve lost track of over the years. I tacked her words on my bulletin board for a long while and appreciate them deeply.

They came to mind again this week as I watched news coverage of recent events. The tragedies with which we’re faced seem relentless and incomprehensible. I noticed a definite ratcheting up of the fear factor. That’s the spell, you know. Fear. It’s a trap. Don’t go there.

If you notice it luring you in, or if you find yourself up to your knees in it all of a sudden, I heard a great way to set yourself free of it so you can function sanely. These days, knowing how to avoid or escape from the clutches of fear is a handy skill to have.

So the only way this guy said that he could come up with for dealing with the cascade of unsettling events is to be the best possible you.

Think about that for a minute. “Be the best possible you.”

If you hold your focus on that, you automatically take control of your fear; you overpower it. What’s the very best way I can be, right here, right now. You ask yourself that, sincerely wanting an honest answer.

Your best you doesn’t necessarily mean your ideal you, the strong, composed and centered one. It means the very best you can manage in this moment that you’re standing in. It means just be as top notch as you can.

The New Gold Standard? Really?

A while back I heard somebody say “Good enough is the new gold standard.” I revolted at that, to tell you the truth. I want to aim higher than that.

Sure, often it’s the case that good enough is good enough, and you can walk away satisfied. Maybe it wasn’t the best that could be done, but considering all the factors, it was good enough. It would do its intended job. You got ‘er done.

But to say good enough should be the highest you aim for isn’t good enough for me. Always settling for good enough is paving the way to mediocrity.

It makes you stand straighter when you know you reached a bit higher than good enough, that you gave it one more twist toward better, just because you could. It’s satisfying to know you put a little extra spit and polish on something, left it shining a little more brightly.

I think the world smiles more when we take those extra little steps, when we go beyond what’s required and leave things improved somehow in our wake. What’s the old vaudeville saying? “Leave ‘em laughing, kid.” Good enough doesn’t pack much joy. Spice it up a bit. Give it a jolt of the best you can muster.

See, if you’re thinking about that, about how you be your best possible you as you do whatever you’re doing, you don’t have a any space for fear of the what-if’s to wrap you up in their stories.

If it’s not happening within shouting distance, it’s likely not something that requires your response beyond, perhaps, a few prayers.

Instead, you focus on being the best possible you right now. Because it feels good. Empowering somehow. And in however small a way, it makes the world a nicer place. All because you got such a kick out of reaching past mere good enough.

Now, imagine what would happen if you went for spectacular! Just kidding. Reaching for your best is spectacular. Comes with built in rewards. Go for it.

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by Micha from Pixabay}

One of the things I like best about the beginning of the year is that it’s sort of like holding a freshly purchased Power Ball ticket in your hands. Oh, the possibilities!

Whether resolutions hold any stock for you or not, January slips you a moment where you slide into dreams of your new and improved life, all polished and shining in the sun. All the flaws of the person you were yesterday disappear, and all that’s left are your finest attributes, waiting for you to put them to work.

Your inner curmudgeon–the part of you that says, “Yeah, sure, kid. Now back to work,”–steps aside for a couple minutes, lets you dream, lets you wish.

Well, what if you grabbed that moment, the one where everything was possible, and lived it? What if you could say that the unworthy parts of you were too yesterday to bother with? What if you stepped into Living in Magic, in a space where you assumed the power to be and do all the things that you dreamed?

What would that look like? What if you played a movie of it in your head every morning when you woke up, every night as you drifted off to sleep? What if you loved who you were in the movie? What if the soundtrack made you laugh, inspired and empowered you?

What if the index finger of your dominant hand became a light sabre, and any time a thought-monster appeared to growl, “You can’t!” you zapped it to oblivion?

What if it took you until, say, mid-April to really start getting the hang of it? What if you kept playing the movie anyway?

What if little possibilities started taking shape in your imagination? What if interesting coincidences started to appear? What if you began to find that clues were everywhere?

Who would you want to be? What would you want to have? What would your life be like? What would you accomplish?

You know, there’s this old saying, attributed to Henry Ford: “If you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re right.”

A couple weeks ago, anticipating the New Year’s arrival, its baskets of magic in hand, I started a “what-if” list for myself, writing down things it might be fun or interesting to do or to master in the coming year.

I wrote the words, “What If I …” at the top the page and started listing things, like “read at least 2 books a month?” and “always kept fresh flowers in the house?” and “practiced until I could make it to the top of Seneca Trail without stopping?” I’m getting a kick out the list. It’s a playful way for me to draw from the Cosmic Soup of Infinite Possibilities some of the little things I’d like to have and do in my life. If you want to try Living in Magic, that’s one way to begin.

I have a sneaking suspicion we’ll be chatting more about Living in Magic in the coming year. For now, just savor that January moment where you let yourself imagine what might go into a good “My Best Self” movie. Then let it sparkle in your mind over and over, as if you just couldn’t get enough of it.

Wishing you magical dreams and a 2025 that surpasses your expectations in every possible way.

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by Ennaej from Pixabay}

I ran across a quote this week that I want to share with you It’s from Kent Nerburn, an Native American author who has been called “one of America’s Living Spiritual Teachers,” and I think the quote will show you why.

Before you read it, take a moment to breathe slowly a few times with your eyes closed, to relax and to open yourself to receive these words as a gift of wisdom.

“Remember to be gentle with yourself and others. We are all children of chance and none can say why some fields will blossom while others lay brown beneath the August sun.

“Care for those around you. Look past your differences. Their dreams are no less than yours, their choices no more easily made.

“And give, give in any way you can, of whatever you possess. To give is to love. To withhold is to wither.

“Care less for your harvest than for how it is shared and your life will have meaning and your heart will have peace.”

Let me invite you to dwell on those thoughts a bit, to let them settle in your heart. Then imagine how your world—our world—might be transformed if each of us let them be a guiding light for us as we went through our days.

If we truly look past our differences and recognize our shared humanity, if we could extend to each other the respect and kindness we want so deeply to receive, perhaps we would meet each other with a new gentleness, with compassion, with a willingness to let there be understanding between us.

It’s a long quote to remember. But you can remember the feeling it creates in you and take that with you into your world in the coming week. You can remember to give of whatever you possess—even if it’s no more than a smile, or a decision not to complain or blame. You can start your day with the conscious intention to be generous of spirit to others, even with those who push your buttons, or whose differences are outrageous and glaring.

Care for those around you. Ask, “What can I give here? What can I share?”

It’s a worthy experiment. And as Nerburn says, the rewards are a life of meaning and a heart at peace.

And that, my friend, is what I wish for you this week.

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by Alana Jordan from Pixabay}