With global tensions ratcheting up by the hour around the world, adding to the stresses that all of us face in our personal worlds, I thought I’d share with you a little two-minute practice that will return you to the present moment and let you experience an island of personal peace.
I learned it from Dr. Kirsten Neff’s talk on “Resilience and Self-Compassion” on YouTube where she demonstrates it. (https://youtu.be/xyjLKgfV7Sk) Here’s how it goes:
1. Hold your hands out in front of you and tightly clench your fists. Pay attention to the way you feel as you do this. Hold this gesture for a few seconds, allowing yourself really to feel it.
2. Now open your hands, relaxing them in an open position in front of you and notice how that feels. Again, give yourself the opportunity really to sink into the feeling.
3. Now spread your arms slightly and extend your hands, palms up. Again, allow yourself to fully feel how you feel now.
4. Finally, put one hand over the other and place them on the center of your chest, over your heart. You may want to close your eyes as you feel the gentle pressure and warmth. Maybe you’ll even become aware of the beating of your heart. Let yourself sink into what you’re feeling.
That’s all there is to it.
In the first step, many people say the gesture evoked feelings of anger, tension, or the feelings of self-criticism. Imagine you’re wrapping any negative emotion in your fists—any pain or disappointment or frustration. Clench your fists hard, allowing yourself to feel the full depth of what you’re suffering, the tightness of it.
In step two, experience letting go, as if everything your fists were holding is simply floating away, evaporating. People in Neff’s audience said this step let them feel a sense of openness and relaxation, a sense that they could stop fighting and breathe.
Next, when you open your arms and extend your hands upward, you’re likely to feel a sense of acceptance or welcoming. Or perhaps a sense of receiving whatever the moment is offering to you.
Then, when you place your hands over your heart and feel the warmth, you are allowing yourself to feel the soothing, the kindness, the comfort of self-compassion, of being completely okay, just as you are, and with life, just as it is.
This little two-minute peace break is worth memorizing. Do it a few times, then keep it in your pocket as a handy stress reliever any time you need it. After you have done it several times, you can even do it mentally when you’re in a public situation where you can’t physically move your hands.
Sometimes all it takes is a little break like this to restore your peace and perspective, opening you to renewed composure, confidence, and the ability to see new solutions.
Share it with a friend or family member if you like. You could even practice it together and share with each other the way it makes each of you feel. Not only will you be reinforcing the power of it for yourself, but you’ll have given a fine gift of instant relief to your friend. Self-compassion, after all, flows naturally to having more compassion for everyone. Cool how that works, huh?
You can find several more self-compassion exercises at Dr. Neff’s website, https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/ .
Pop over there and bookmark it. Visit it from time to time. It will unfailingly remind you that hey, you’re a human, and you deserve to hold yourself in caring and understanding.
Wishing you inner peace, no matter what.
Warmly,
Susan
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay