Category: Sunday Letters

The hardest part is deciding what to prepare. Once I’ve got that, the whole game plan appears. I wash my hands and assemble the ingredients, bowls, cutting board, knives, various utensils. Then I begin.

I take the skinless, boneless chicken thigh in my hand and place it on the cutting board. With my sharp, thin knife, I remove the bits of excess fat and cut the meat into cubes. I think about Holly’s wonderful chickens, roaming free in their big, fenced yard. The thigh I’m cutting probably came from some poor critter raised in a crowded cage, never feeling the slightest touch of human love, Silently, I thank it for its life and for feeding me. It sizzles and I turn the pieces to sear them on all sides to hold in their juices.

For a moment, the news about the proliferating bird flu and about the rash of fires at food processing plants flashes through my mind. But I catch myself and turn my attention back to the meat happily cooking in my pan and to my gratitude that it has arrived in my kitchen and will make a fine contribution to my meal. That’s what a joy warrior does when thoughts of the world’s darkness threaten to eclipse the light of a heart full of thanksgiving.

I think about all the people involved in getting this little chicken thigh to me–the producers, the packers, the makers of the packaging, the truckers who transported it, the buyers and sellers and handlers along the way, the machines involved and all those who designed, built and operated them–the list could go on and on. I send a little wave of thanks to all who made it possible, a cast, no doubt, of millions if you trace it all out. “Every door leads to an infinite world,” I say to myself, laughing. Everything’s connected and intermingled.

The shrimp come next, small, cleaned, tailless ones. I like the slightly salty smell of them as I stir them into the chicken. It brings images of the ocean and fishing boats and fishermen. And for a moment, I am sailing in Boston Harbor, feeling the rush of the wind as it pushes us through the water. Maybe, far below me, shrimp crawl. I remember eating lobster once fresh from the boat that docked at the restaurant’s lower door, somewhere on the coast of Maine. The shrimp in my present dinner probably came from a farm. Almost everything’s a step removed from nature these days. But at least it wasn’t made in a lab. Thank you, little pink shrimp, for being real and for the gift of your energy.

I open the bag of frozen stir-fry veggies—broccoli, mushrooms, strips of sweet red pepper and carrots, sweet pea pods, cauliflower, water chestnuts, corn—and add a couple handfuls to the pan. The colors brighten the whole dish as I gently toss them. I imagine vast fields of vegetables from a half dozen states and maybe beyond the nation’s boundaries–and again, I thank all who labored to bring them to me.

I sprinkle in a pinch of pink Himalayan salt—What a wonder!—and a twist or two of freshly ground mixed peppercorns and just a dash of ground coriander. Then I let it simmer a bit, aware that days are coming soon when such bounty as this will be available no more. I pray for those who go hungry right now, and I am more grateful for this beautiful meal than words could ever say.

I ladle big spoonfuls of it onto a clear glass plate, breathing in its fragrance, and sit to savor its flavors. When I finish, I am satisfied, and filled, body and soul.

Wishing you a week of beautifully mindful meals.

Warmly,
Susan

I was at the park this week on one of the month’s rare sunny days and happened across two little girls playing at the edge of the creek. They were putting little pieces of driftwood on the water to watch it float downstream and giggling as they sang “Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream . . . “

I hadn’t heard that little ditty in years and soon I was humming it as I walked along. “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily; Life is but a dream.”

It got me thinking about one of the phrases I keep in my back pocket to get me through stressful times or to reassure myself when I’m taking on a challenge. I’ve shared it with you before. Maybe you remember: “How easy can I let this be?”

Now and then I repeat it to a friend of mine who unfailingly repeats it as “How easy can I make this?” I tell him it’s not “make this,” but “let this.” There’s a difference.

Maybe my friend, an engineer, thinks that making things easy means finding an efficient way to go about whatever needs to be done. But to me, that interpretation puts the onus on you to invent an efficient way. It becomes an added thing that you have to do. I’m all for efficiency. And I suppose if I were the engineering type, “making things easy” might sound like an engaging task. I might find it lifts my spirits to look at things that way, If that’s how it sounds to you, great!

But the point of asking yourself to let the challenge before you be easy means that you’re giving yourself permission to relax into it. You’re asking yourself how much you’re willing to allow yourself to be at ease. Things are only difficult or trying for us because we frame them that way, after all. Almost anything can be done with ease if we take it one small step at a time. What’s the old saying? “Inch by inch, anything’s a cinch.”

Giving yourself permission to step into a task gently and with ease is especially helpful when what you’re facing seems unpleasant, or even repulsive or painful. Allowing yourself to let go of the tension of resistance tunes you in to your capabilities. Asking “How easy can I let this be?” turns “I don’t want to” into “I can do this.”

What’s more, it lets you glide into action with a grace that can build momentum for you, and even make the task feel rewarding and satisfying, or if you’re really lucky, fun. There you are, just rowing your boat, one stroke of the oars after another. And sooner or later, you arrive where you wanted to be. The challenge that loomed so large is behind you, now nothing more than a memory, a dream.

Let me invite you to tuck the phrase in your pocket—“How easy can I let this be?”— and to pull it out the next time you find yourself resisting a challenge. Maybe attach the tune to “Row Your Boat” to it just to give it a bit of flavor. Give it a try. You never know.

Wishing you a week of merrily bubbling streams.

Warmly,
Susan

My neighbor and I were watching the cardinals and jays enjoying breakfast at The Flat Rock Cafe. That’s what I call the corner of the retaining wall where I sprinkle a thick layer of sunflower seeds for my bird pals every morning. I take out the seeds and sing, “Good Morning, little friends. Here’s your breakfast!” I repeat it three times. They know the song now and as soon as I’m half way back to the house, they come zooming in from all directions.

Now that spring has finally sprung, my chipmunk buddies have begun to return to the cafe, too. And today was one of those days. They stuffed their little cheeks for a while, and then, when more jays came, they raced away, chasing each other in circles in the yard. My old neighbor friend laughed at the sight of them. I told him they were celebrating the arrival of spring. “Aren’t we all!” he said, holding up his coffee cup to make a toast.

Winters here seem to take up half the year, so the arrival of spring is indeed a cause for celebration. Personally, I’ve vowed to treasure every single day of it, even the dreary, rainy ones.

I looked up the word “celebrate” in my thesaurus to see what it had to say. It’s a word that holds a lot of connotations in my mind and I wondered if the thesaurus would reflect some of them. Among the first tier of words that were similar, it listed “honor,” “observe,” “praise,” and “revere.”

I liked them; they captured it well. They highlighted the different aspects of celebration–not only the jubilation of it, but the quieter, deeper parts of it, too. For me, celebration is an act of joy, the act of taking time to observe and honor the richness a moment holds, to feel the meaning of it. Sometimes, when you do that, your heart fills with a joy so brilliant that it could only find voice in praise. Sometimes, if the moment is a somber one, you find yourself feeling a profound respect for all the vagaries of life, for the mystery of it, and your heart quiets and is wrapped in reverence.

Isn’t it interesting that a single word can capture such a range of emotion? And isn’t it something that we can feel that whole range as something special, to be noticed and experienced in its fullness?

I mean, there I was, sipping coffee with Bob, watching the critters, and all of a sudden the antics of the chipmunks, and Bob’s laughter, and the observation of springtime, and the honoring of it with a toast all mixed altogether with a recognition that this was a moment of true celebration.

It was just an ordinary moment. Looked at from just the right angle, ordinary moments are the best causes for celebration. They capture us just as we are, being our true selves, living our true lives. And whatever we’re being or doing is beautiful and sacred somehow.

Seeing the cause for celebration in an ordinary moment isn’t something that happens all the time. That’s probably a good thing. We’d get little done if we walked around astonished by the wonder of life all the time. But you can cultivate such moments. You can teach yourself to stop and ask if the present moment deserves your celebration. We get what we look for, after all. And moments of celebration are so plush that it’s worth the effort to see if you’re in the midst of one this very minute. Could be. You never know.

Wishing you bushels of heartfelt celebrations.

Warmly,
Susan

For some reason, I see the old guy down the road as someone Norman Rockwell would have painted, sitting there with his dog, talking to him.

You’re probably not old enough to remember finding a new issue of The Saturday Evening Post in your mailbox every week with a Rockwell illustration on its cover. But if you are, I bet you’re smiling right now as you think about it. Maybe you even have a Rockwell favorite or two. I do. But that’s a different story.

This story is how every now and then I’m lucky enough to see things through Norman Rockwell’s eyes. He saw things true. He didn’t try to pretty things up. He stayed away from the worst sides of things. For the most part, he just saw plain, ordinary people doing ordinary things. Some were touching, some funny, some heroic. And you could relate with them. And because Rockwell saw people through eyes of humor and love, you liked the part of you that related with his characters, you accepted your humanity with a little more lightness and grace.

What a gift, hey? To be able to draw people so truly that looking at them made you like yourself more?

What if we could do that for ourselves? What if we could look at the reflection in our bathroom mirrors with eyes of welcome and happiness and, oh, such deep appreciation—despite the flaws and faults and traces of sin. Appreciation means you see all that and it doesn’t matter or detract from the truth of you in any way. It means you’re seen and forgiven. I think that’s how Rockwell looked at people. His love and appreciation was so tender and deep that he found even the flaws endearing.

I suppose it’s asking a lot to be able to see all of that in the mirror. I don’t think that I could try it without laughing. But maybe laughter is exactly what I’d need. Maybe it would let me see that character in the mirror as somebody I knew, and forgave, and appreciated, and loved. I’ll try it. Only me and the face in the mirror will know.

Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to imagine that Norman Rockwell is standing behind me, smiling at me with his artist’s eyes. Maybe you could imagine that, too. Might be fun to try, hey? Maybe you’ll catch him winking at you. You never know.

Wishing you a week of brim-full appreciation, starting with that face in the mirror.

Warmly,
Susan

My Dear Friend,

I can’t, of course, put the whole experience into today’s one bottle. The temperature and moisture of the air alone would take up probably a third of it and there’s still the lake and pines and sky. The best I can do is tuck in a couple glimpses. So that’s what I do. It takes more than the hour I thought I’d spend when the whole thing began. But every minute of it is rich, given that it’s a gift of love.

I leave it in the hands of the universe to get it to its final destination, to those who need exactly what it brings. My only job is to make sure I send something, that I choose what to enclose in the love note each day. To be honest, I’m not even sure I’m really the one who does the choosing. It feels more like listening for a hunch sometimes and going with that.

I like hunches. I like their spontaneity. They’re like a small bell ringing, right over there in the clearing, or like a kid tugging at your shirt tail. It’s easy to disregard them, to brush them off. It took me years to learn that hunches almost always take me to the exactly right place. Now I turn where they direct with a kind of eager anticipation to see how things will turn out.

Sometimes you have to make a leap of faith in order to follow a hunch. It can feel scary to do something you’ve never done before, to take a turn down an unfamiliar road. But if you have no faith, you miss out on a lot of life’s fun and adventure, to say the least.

Besides, the same agency that sends out the hunches sends out alarms if the risk is something you need to weigh with a measure of care. Over time you learn what level of risk you’re willing and confident enough to take. It’s a kind of skill you develop with experience.

When I’m out taking photos, for instance, I get a hunch that if I stood over that way about ten feet, the angle would be fabulous. But then an alarm goes off and cautions me to note the slippery mud on the rocks and to test their stability as I make my way along.

From a certain point of view, all of life is a risk/reward proposition. You take the risk of drawing your first breath, letting out your first scream, and you’re on your way. Everything from there on is a reward, even if it takes you a few lifetimes to see how that can be. It’s all a gift. It’s all benevolent in the long run. Even the parts that hurt.

Next Saturday, good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I’ll complete my 100 day challenge. It’s been interesting to see how it’s evolved. It’s an established habit for me now, finding something to send out, in love, every day. I think I’m just getting started.

And next Sunday, you’ll have another letter from me, sharing whatever observations my hunches lead me to find.

I’m so glad that you’re along for the journey.

Warmly,
Susan

I posted a photo earlier that I took of a sky filled with dark storm-tossed clouds and light. I wrote about how the sky tries to wake us from our dreams with such drama, to remind us that we’re in a real world, that we’re alive.

Isn’t it something that we have to be reminded! We live in a world of stories and dreams that flow past so fast we can hardly keep up with them, let alone remember that they’re stories and dreams. That’s why nature creates drama from time to time. A thunderclap here, a bolt of lightning there, a color-drenched sunrise, a little bird’s song. Anything, just to get our attention, just to give us a chance to remember that we are alive and real and right here.

Sometimes, when I wake suddenly from my own daydreams and imaginings, I feel a little disoriented. But I have a wonderful little practice that immediately centers me. Want to know what it is? I call it “The Three Questions.” And it’s just that. I ask myself : Where am I? Who am I? What was I doing?

Say those over and over to yourself a few times. (Where am I? Who am I? What was I doing?) Then tuck them in your pocket for when you need ‘em. They’re especially good for multi-taskers and dreamers. And if you’re both, God bless you. Anyway, memorize them. Try them out for fun. You’ll get hooked. They work that well.

The reason I wanted to share them is that being present is such a powerful, exquisite experience. I collect ways to remind myself to be awake, aware, and appreciative. It’s kind of a hobby, one of the tools of the Joy Warrior’s trade. I’m taking the liberty of assuming that you, too, find value in being aware of being in the present. It’s where everything is happening, after all. For each of us, it’s the very center of the matterium as we experience it. It’s the place and time that we think of as real, the only place and time when we can choose and think and act.

“Where am I?” I ask as I snap awake from a dream. “Oh. Here. Writing my Sunday Letter to my dear friends.” That answers who I am and what I was doing, too, without my even having to ask. I remember that I wanted to tell you that I’m only two weeks away from the finish-line in my 100-day challenge to add daily to these pages. When I started it, I thought of it as rolling up a love letter, sealing it in a bottle, and sending it into the world to land wherever it was meant to land. I still think of it that way, as the act of creating a love letter to send out into the world. Every day it teaches me something new. I hope you’ll drop by from time to time to take a peek.

Try those “Three Questions,” hey? They’re kind of fun. You’ll see.

Wishing you a most glorious week.

Warmly,
Susan

This is the week that the clocks leaped ahead and the first flowers of the season burst on the scene. Spring has come at last, and I am downright giddy over its arrival. A small crocus opens in my garden. Along the roadside, the first coltsfoot beams up at me. A robin arrives to sit in that tree, right there.

I don’t know why—for a lot of reasons, I suppose—but I am deeply moved by all of this. Maybe it’s the contrast with the ice that was so recently here. Maybe its the emergence of color and birdsong after a long night of darkness and silence. Whatever the cause, I am moved by these small graces, these restorers of hope.

It’s not that life doesn’t place stars in the darkest nights. We’re never without at least pinpoints of light. And I clung to them all throughout the winter, believe me, and gave thanks that they were there. But now! So suddenly, it is spring, and I am overwhelmed with the world’s overnight transformation,

Maybe it’s a sign, I say to myself, smiling at how I reach for the wisdom of superstition, Maybe it’s like waking to find yourself inside a giant, luminous rainbow. How would that be for a sign?

I stand in the warm sun listening. The birds are returning, and from the creek such a chorus of frogs! Small graces. Priceless ones.

I lifted layers of oak leaves from the flower gardens and pulled out the tiny weeds. The soil smelled moist and rich, and the thick, green sprouts reaching up from it stood eager and proud. I think it wouldn’t hurt to put out some hummingbird nectar this week. You never know. They might fly in and need a good drink.

Sometimes I stop in my tracks and look around in wonder. “I get to be here,” I whisper to the spring air. “I get to be here.”

And so do you! I wish you Happy Spring, my friend.

May small graces bless your week and fill your heart with gentle joy.

Warmly,

Susan

I was visiting with a circle of close friends and Patricia said something about feeling contentment. “Oh!” I exclaimed, “That’s my very favorite positive emotion. If I had to pick just one, contentment would be it.”

Patricia said how she much preferred it to happiness or joy, which, to her, sounded airy and frivolous somehow, superficial. She shimmied her upraised hands in the air and we laughed.

I told her I understood exactly what she meant. It’s hard to take joy or happiness seriously; they’re so lightly portrayed. But contentment, yeah, you can settle right in with that. Let it ooze up all around you, all peaceful and warm.

I thought about our conversation later and about the book Authentic Happiness that was popularized when the study of positive psychology came into vogue. Its purpose was to differentiate the happiness and joy that we associate with giddiness and delight from the soul-deep happiness that dwells in the core of our being.

Why I hold contentment as my favorite emotion is that it’s filled with such a profound acceptance, even welcoming, of everything that floats through our awareness. Get there, and you’ll know the taste of true joy. The deeper you go, the more beautiful it becomes.

I thought about this as I ventured out into the cold, windy morning to feed the birds and get a couple photos. I must admit it wasn’t something I was happy about doing. I’ve been smitten with a serious case of spring fever and I am more than ready to see winter go. But the poor birds needed breakfast, given the two inches of fresh snow, and I needed photos.

I tell the tale of my venture into the cold and the lessons that it brought me in the piece I wrote after I came in and got warm. It’s called The Snow Today. It has pictures, too.

It’s actually the “Day 72” piece for my 100-Day Challenge to add to my blog every day. Remember? I’ll reach the three-quarter mark this week and I think I’m starting to hit my stride. I like how it’s evolving. I like what I’m learning as I go along, and I’m having a blast. This week, one of my faithful readers said the countdown was making her a bit sad. She didn’t want to see it end. I told her nobody said I had to quit at 100. I’m just starting to have fun!

With all the turmoil and suffering in this old world, it’s wise to have an hour or so set aside every day to do something that will hold your attention, let you develop a skill, put you in the flow state for a bit. It helps keep you sane. It places you into a different parcel of reality for a while. It’s kind of like a fine, mental vacation. At least that’s how my daily challenge feels to me, for what it’s worth. I thought you might enjoy an update.

Whatever works. That’s my motto. Sometimes this works; sometimes that. Sometimes you get to do some inventing. The key, though, is to keep moving toward that state of contentment, that utterly full and completely easy acceptance of everything, just as it is. Because that’s just a beautiful place to be.

Joy smiles beaming your way.

Warmly,
Susan