Category: Sunday Letters

As I told you last week, I decided it would be worthwhile for me to put some of my personal experiences and observations into words as I travel through the aftermath of the East Palestine, Ohio train derailment. I was, and am, curious what I’ll learn about what it’s like to experience a disaster up close. I’ve been keeping track in my journal.

I’ll share an excerpt from it in a minute, but first I want to say thank you to those of you who sent your wishes for my well-being and your encouragement. Your kindness truly touched my heart.

Now for what I wrote yesterday in my journal . . .

“I’m beginning to work through the part of my situation where the chemical bomb that exploded a month ago took nature away from me. Nature—which, since my childhood, has been my enduring teacher, comforter, source of wonder, place of worship, and friend—now wears an invisible overlay of poison.

“And I am outraged that this has been taken from me, that nature has been transformed into a place of potential treachery, a tool of evil. It may be months before I know whether it is suicidal to walk these fields, to wander by the creeks and streams, to kneel in the soil to photograph the precious flowers. It may be that I’ll never find out. But the curse of it is that the likelihood of nature’s toxicity is high now, and always present in my awareness. That’s the personal tragedy I carry as a result of this event.

“Everyone has been touched by it, for miles and miles around. Hundreds. Maybe many hundreds. Its range is one of those innumerable things that we will not know for a while, perhaps decades.

“The normalcy bias, the cognitive dissonance and confusion are strong. It’s hard to ferret out and process the data, which becomes more and more difficult to find and is contradicted at every point. We don’t even know the extent of the danger we’re in, whether the investigators are testing for the right stuff, looking in the right places for their samples, running the right tests. Information is twisted and fragmentary as it filters through the networks of shareholders and politics. Meanwhile, mothers secretly wonder if they’re killing their children by bathing them. And everyone tries to pretend that it’s all okay now because they have nowhere else to go and no way to get there if they did.”

A few hours after I wrote that, I learned that due to yesterday’s heavy rains, a dam that had been built to contain some of East Palestine’s contaminated soil had washed away. Water and sludge were pouring down the major creeks, bound for the Ohio River, and then the Mississippi.

As if that weren’t enough, a second major train derailment had just happened in central Ohio. No fire or leaks were apparent in the drone photos, but hazmat crews were on the way and local residents were advised to shelter-in-place “in an abundance of caution.”

(By the way, if you ever find yourself being so advised, “shelter-in-place” doesn’t just mean to stay indoors. It means to tape off your windows and doors and turn off any heating or cooling that circulates air in the house until you get the “all clear.”)

Nevertheless, I’ve noticed that springtime is signaling its approach. Green sprouts poke up through the ground. The morning holds a growing chorus of birdsong, and the birds are mating. Life reawakens. It’s song goes on.

Little by little, we adjust. We begin to learn how to find balance in the midst of uncertainty. We feel more connected to each other, sharing as we do this all-eclipsing event that’s touched all of our lives in such fundamental ways. And each of us is finding out how much kindness counts.

Smile at somebody today. Look them right in the eyes and smile. It’s the best medicine out there, no matter what.

Warmly,
Susan

Maybe it’s me, but reality seems to be spinning rather wildly these days.

I feel like I’m sitting in some multiplex theater with, oh, maybe a couple dozen movies playing at one time. Each one of them is a slice of my life, each as real as the other. I’m here in the middle watching the movie screens revolve.

Each of the movies plays just long enough for me to remember where I was in the storyline and to play my role in what’s-happening-now, and then the next movie drops before me. It’s like dancing between worlds, or like wandering through a maze of revolving doors. The old TV show “Quantum Leap” comes to mind, and I laugh. That’s it, exactly.

The main movie this past week was a horror show where poisons fell upon the land and the waters, including mine. It held some heart-wrenching scenes. But there were other movies, too. The smiles of friendship and romance and Valentine’s Day. Poignant stories of loss and grief. Scenes of ordinary life – cooking dinner, washing dishes – seen through a soft, golden lens. Peaceful strolls through pine woods and stands of oak.

Weaving through them all was the ribbon of reminders that I posted on my wall to help me keep my composure when the movies spin too quickly or get too intense. “Smile,” one says. I like that one. It works every time. “Don’t be trapped by the spell. You are free.” That’s a good one, too; it reminds me that I always have choices.

I told you in an earlier letter about the one that says, “Look around you. Appreciate what you have. Nothing will be the same in a year.” That one took on new depth as I watched an environmental catastrophe enfold me in its grasp. Yes. Appreciate what you have.

The four phrases of the Loving Kindness Meditation are on my wall, too:

May I Now . . .

Be filled with loving kindness;
Be safe and protected;
Be resilient in mind and body;
Live with ease and joy.

After I say them for myself, I look at my photos of friends and family and request the same for them, and then for all whose lives touch mine, which, of course, includes you.

I got to experience a vast range of emotions this past week. Somewhere in the middle of it, I saw a video of a man demonstrating how the strings in the lower range of a piano make powerfully penetrating sounds. The lowest would not only shake the whole piano, but the house in which it sat. I got a taste of the lower ends of the emotional scale as I took in what was happening around me.

And along with that, I got a refresher course in what happens when you’re there, caught up in the powerful frequencies of emotion at the lower end of the scale. If you don’t fight it, if you just kind of glide on its current and let it be there and let it be okay that it’s there even if its difficult to bear . . . if you can do that, you’ll find that you sink like some smooth stone in an unresisting stream and end up in a well of acceptance filled with understanding and love.

Not that “don’t fight it” is easy. Sometimes you gotta go through some shouting and tears to get there. But if you can get there, if you can just let go of the fight and let it be, it’s worth doing.

I hope that helps you in some way. I wish you the very best movies this week in the theater of your mind.

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay}

With all the events filling the news in the past week—the shoot-down of the mysterious Chinese balloon and now of some unidentified object over Alaskan air space, the horrendous and heart-breaking earthquake that struck Turkey and Syria, the political tensions both at home and internationally—you might have missed the story about the derailment of a train in Ohio carrying hazardous chemicals. But I sure didn’t! It happened four miles upwind from my home. I could see the black smoke from here.

Last Monday, in order to prevent an explosion of one endangered tank car, authorities decided to conduct a “controlled explosion,” releasing a huge cloud of dense black smoke into the overcast sky. I watched from my kitchen window as the cloud floated toward my property, eventually turning the sky so dark that it looked like midnight outside at 5 o’clock in the afternoon. Authorities said air samples said it had posed no danger, but some folks in the area are experiencing headaches and feeling sick. And although I’m generally robustly healthy, I confess I’m not quite 100% myself.

I’m not concerned. My symptoms are mild – a bit of a sore throat. I expect to bounce back quickly. I told myself it’s just a trough in the waves. And that reminded me of a piece I wrote a while back, called “Learning to Surf.” I dug it out and read it. And because the world is what it is these days, I thought I’d share it with you again. . .

Learning to Surf

I admit, it can be hard to get your bearings on this old planet the way everything keeps shifting and sliding and all. The best that any of us can do is to do the best we can, moment to moment to moment.

It’s like the famous poster from the 1960’s where you see a yogi-like figure in long robes on a surfboard riding an enormous wave, his arms outstreched, his wet hair flying in the wind. Across the photo in bold white letters is printed, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

The world is giving us surfing lessons big-time now. And sometimes it feels like high tide. It’s part of the adventure of being here. We get to live all the drama from inside it.

By the way, did you ever watch somebody learn to surf? It isn’t a pretty sight. Or graceful. Or smooth. They fall a lot. Sometimes they get injured. Sometimes they even get killed. That’s the kind of adventure we’re in. We risk death every moment. Threats surround us from our very first breath, from before that even.

But here’s the thing. Most who are learning to surf succeed. They get the hang of it, of the unpredictability of the ride. They get the rhythm and flow of unexpected curves. For some, it becomes a kind of dance or meditation. For some it’s a challenge of skills, a grand game. But you only rise to those levels to the degree that you let go of fear. Most of us are just paddling around as best we can, scared of dying, trying to get enough balance to stand. Our big glory is that when we fall, we climb back on, regardless of our fears and regrets. And these days, that can be one mean feat.

I love that about humans–the way we keep getting back on the board, working at making it work, even against all odds. Even when we have no idea why. God bless us all.

And God bless you, individually—you, who’s reading this letter right now. These are bewildering times. Balance doesn’t come easy for any of us. We’re riding on storm-tossed seas.

It’s okay to be afraid. Useless, but okay. It’s okay to be sad, or angry, or miserable. Just get back on the board and keep paddling. Eventually you’ll rock with the waves, rolling over their crests and into their valleys as if you were born to do it. Because, obviously, you were.

It doesn’t have to make sense. It might be a long while before we’re in calm seas. Life isn’t going to be what we had imagined it would be. But it’s still our life, our chance to ride the waves. Kinda wild, isn’t it? Kinda outrageous.

Just hold on, and rock and roll.

Warmly,
Susan

Remember the cluttered bulletin boards I mentioned at the beginning of the year? I shared my intention to re-do them and told you I had written it on my do-list. Well, I did redesign them, and I’m pleased with the result. They contain photos of a few of my pals, little “pokes” that say things like “Smile”, “Celebrate What Is,” “Doodle, “Read,” a couple of my ink doodles, and quotes and slogans and reminders that unfailingly wake me up.

The largest piece on the first board has grabbed my attention more than once this week. I don’t know the source. I heard it somewhere and scribbled it down. Anyway, here’s what it says: “Look around you. Appreciate what you have. Nothing will be the same in a year.”

I don’t know about you, but for me, that’s like, Pow! It just smacks me in the face with its wisdom and plain truth.

Here’s something else about that little group of sentences. It instantly reflects to you your level of optimism. Do the changes you imagine might be coming at you, at us all, in the coming year prompt feelings of hope and anticipation? Or do they evoke ripples of fear and dread?

There’s no right or wrong answer to that, by the way. You feel what you feel. The sentences just give you a way to notice what that is.

But I will say this about fear. Again, it’s a sentence I scribbled down while listening to something. I do that a lot. It’s why I’m developing a process for dealing with the scraps of paper I scribble on all the time. But that’s another story. The thing I heard about fear was “Fear is putting faith in what you don’t want to happen.” It could also be putting faith in what you think has happened or is happening now. Regardless of the time frame, fear is agreeing with yourself to believe in the thing that scares you. And unless that thing is standing right in front of you and growling in your face, you’re imagining it and putting faith in its reality.

There’s no judgment with that. It’s just an interesting observation about fear. It intrigues me because it asks me to evaluate where I’m putting my faith and my energy and attention.

We’re in the middle of a cold-snap here, the silver lining of which, for me, has been time to sit at my keyboard and dream. I gaze up at my bulletin boards and send loving thoughts to the pals pictured there, I read a quote or a prompt. I’ve resumed doodling. Eventually my eyes fall on the rectangle with the words, “Look around. Appreciate what you have. Nothing will be the same in a year,” and I give thanks.

Wishing you a week of appreciation and well-placed faith.

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay}

Last week, for the first time this winter, we got a couple of inches of snow. Enthralled by the beauty of it, I grabbed my camera and headed for a nearby nature park, one of my favorite haunts. I was walking through the pine forest at the edge of the lake and had just stopped to take photos of a stand of young pines when, to my surprise, a woman appeared from behind me.

We exchanged a few words, discovered we were of like minds, and traded phone numbers. Each of us left knowing that we had met a new friend. Maybe you have had one of those encounters, where you meet someone and feel at once as if you have known them forever. This was one of those.

I’m delighted to have a new friend. I had an open space in my heart, waiting for one.

I have been thinking about friendship lately and what a gift it is. When I redid my office bulletin boards a couple weeks ago, I posted photos of my closest friends so I could gaze at their faces when I’m thinking of them. And I think of them daily.

Then yesterday, while I was browsing through some old files, I came across a little tribute to friendship that I’d written over a decade ago. I called it “Pal Power,” and I thought it would be nice to share with you today. I hope it will stir you to think about the friends who have enriched your life, and who do so today, and what they mean to you.

So here it is, “Pal Power:”

When it comes to adding some light to your days, few things have the power of a pal. You know, the kind who has spent a heap of days with you, seen you in all your moods and loves you anyway.

Pals know the real of you, beyond all the faces you wear. They know when to move in close, to hold you up, to speak hard truths.

They know when to give you room. They back you with their faith and trust when you step out in new directions.

Pals bathe you in their laughter, delight in your stories, applaud your triumphs, and celebrate your moments of joy.

And they’re there for you in the hard times, too, their words full of encouragement, their hearts full of understanding. They remind you of your strengths and slip you little handfuls of courage to get you through.

They dust you off when you fall, and laugh with you while you sort out your lessons, and never stop cheering for you, no matter what.

What greater ease, what more joyous comfort does life offer? Whatever the fates may bring, when you’re blessed with a worthy companion, you are blessed indeed.

Wishing you friendships, old and new.

Warmly,
Susan

Back when the year was first turning into 2023, I was thinking about what I might want to focus on accomplishing in the year ahead. I had a whole list of small-to-medium sized projects already jotted down, but that’s an on-going process. It’s how I get things done. I was looking for something different, like a guide word, something I could aspire to incorporating into my life or to expressing.

The idea occurred to me that in addition to writing down three things for which I’m grateful each night—something I’ve practiced for 3-4 years now—I could make a note of something I learned during the day. I didn’t decide actually to do it. It was just a thought that danced through my mind from time to time. And then, one day this week, I realized I was, in fact, learning things. So I guess the question, “What did I learn today?” adopted me, whether I adopted it or not.

I kind of like it. I like that it’s just going to hang around and wink at me from time to time.

I don’t have to make any rigid appointments, I can just respond to it as if it were an old friend who drops in for a chat from time to time. It has me on the lookout for things I’m discovering so I’ll have an answer when it asks me what’s up.

I’ve caught myself having imaginary conversations with it. It sits across the table from me sipping tea, a relaxed smile on its face, casually saying “Make any new discoveries?”

“Well, yes,” I answer. “Now that you ask, I discovered that it’s fun to notice what I’ve discovered. And on another level, it’s interesting to see how my thoughts are going in a new direction, how I’m getting little hints about a new insight that’s sliding toward me down the timestream. Oh, and I learned that I’m getting better at paying attention to my intuition, to taking action on my creative impulses.”

Did you ever do that? Take stock of what you were learning as you tumble through your days? It opens up a whole new level of self-appreciation, I tell you. It wakes you up in a whole range of ways. All you have to do is ask yourself from time to time what you’ve discovered recently, what you’re learning, what you’ve learned. Until you check it out, you have no idea! You’re marvelous in ways you completely overlook.

Smiling at you, I wish you a week of amazing discoveries.

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by John Paul Edge from Pixabay}

I came across a beautiful quote today, from a brilliant Italian architect, engineer and archeologist who lived in the late 1400’s. His name was Fra Giovanni Giocondo, and his counsel about living in happiness rolls across six centuries to us today.

“I am your friend,” he said, “and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not got. But there is much, very much, that, while I cannot give it, you can take. No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven! No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant. Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy.”

Think about that. “No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today.” There is no other life but the one unfolding around us right now. And this life, this moment–if we look into it deeply enough, if we are awake and fully present within it, and sense how far it extends–holds everything: All beauty; all grace; all goodness; all truth. Right here, right now, perfection abounds.

“No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant.” All that hides peace is our warring against what is, our wanting it to be otherwise. The moment we exchange our warring and wanting for acceptance, peace descends.

The faults we perceive, in ourselves, in each other, in the world, truly are but shadows. And it is we ourselves who cast them, with our storyboard judgments and beliefs. But once we learn to set aside our criticism and our theories about how things ought to be, and to open our hearts instead, seeing what is before us with clarity and love, the light of joy shines through.

And it’s all right there, within you, within me, within us all, for the taking. Take heaven. Take peace. Take joy.

Warmly,
Susan

I have two bulletin boards above the desk here in my office. Over the passing months, they have become cluttered with notes and reminders and photos to the point that they’re screaming at me to DO SOMETHING! It sort of feels like it does when you realize that you really, really need a haircut.

So I added “Re-do bulletin boards” to my Do/Projects list. Meanwhile, I’ve been looking at what’s there now, mining for the gems in the clutter. One of the notes I noticed this week was a list of “The Nine Choices for Happiness,” which are the chapter titles of the book How We Choose to Be Happy. The first one on the list is “Intention.”

Because it’s the first week of the New Year, I thought about all the resolutions that people made at the year’s dawning. A resolution, I thought, is the same as an intention, except you declare it more forcefully, maybe stomping your foot or clenching your hands into fists as you say it.

Either way, I hear that most of them “don’t work.” And I’ve noticed that fewer and fewer of us even bother making them any more, as if turning over a new leaf is an outmoded fashion. It’s not. And I feel kind of sorry for all those discarded resolutions. Somehow we bought in to a belief that making one was like waving a magic wand; it would instantly empower you to move in a whole new direction in your life. Nope. That’s not the way it works. The intention doesn’t make things change; it nudges you to do it.

We also mistakenly think that intentions will kick in automatically the moment we create them for ourselves. But things only become automatic when we repeat them over and over until we do them with hardly a thought. An intention could only be automatic if we were already doing what it asks, and of course we aren’t. We just want to. In fact, We want to so much that we intend to. Beginning now. And intending is an excellent beginning.

It’s a tricky one, though. We declare our intention with so much fervor that we’re sure it will leap forward, grab our attention, and ignite our will power at every fork in the road. And then the doggone thing floats out of sight like a wisp in the wind and doesn’t drift around again for a while. We put a lot of hope in that intention, and a lot of good it did us, we say when we remember it. That’s the tricky part. We can make up all kinds of excuses for not reaching out to pull that intention back to us again. We guess we weren’t meant to succeed. We guess intentions don’t work. We forget why we wanted that in the first place. We decide it doesn’t matter.

That’s the kind of thinking that gave rise to the old expression that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Hell is exactly where defeatism takes us.

But imagine you’re outdoors on a lovely, sunny day when you spot a little feather floating by, right at eye level. It looks so bright and appealing. Imagine that you reach out and gently cup it in your hand and draw it toward you where you can get a good look at it. That’s what you need to do with good intentions that drifted away.

Now that it has your attention again, let it tell you about the possibilities it carries for you and about how relieved and alive you’ll feel if you let it guide you. Then figure out a way to keep it around where it can smile its encouragement to you on a regular basis. Write it on notes, or on your calendar. Name a pebble after it and carry it in your pocket. Find a wallpaper to represent it on your phone.

Suppose you actually do that. You pick something that you want to do, to make a part of your usual way of being, something that you imagine will make you feel more alive, more purposeful, more at peace. You invent a reminder of some kind to keep your intention top of mind. Then what?

Well, for one thing, your intention will begin to guide your choices. It will sit right up there on your shoulder with your good angel and whisper in your ear with reminders. And that’s a lot. Even if you don’t follow its guidance, it will have called your attention to the fact that you have a choice.

You can give your intention more power by taking time to daydream about it now and then. You can nurture it by asking yourself affirmative questions about it, such as “Why am I seeing so many ways that I can be more . . . ?” or “Why is it getting easier to . . . now?” Just ask yourself the question from time to time and see what answers float up from your mind.

I’m going to keep that list of choices for happiness on my bulletin board when I redo it. And I’m going to post a word or two there to remind me of my intentions for the coming year. They inspire me. And what better way to begin a new year than to feel inspired!

Wishing you delightful, focused, good intentions, and an inspired New Year!

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by Eliza from Pixabay}

Well, first and foremost, let’s share a New Year’s toast: “May this brand new year be the best one yet, for each and every one of us!” Happy New Year to you, from my heart.

I got a wonderful present this week from a Facebook friend, Nanda Jurela, who shares her insightful wisdom on her blog. The gift was what she called an “enlightening motto” that she had heard a few years ago. It says, “You can’t embrace what is trying to hug you while holding onto yesterday’s junk.”

I’m adopting that one myself, thank you, Nanda.

Imagine waking up every day of the new year wondering what hugs will come hoping for your embrace! They could come dressed up as anything. They could be any color, or shape, or size. The only thing they all have in common is that they’re filled with goodness and a very particular fondness for you.

Personally, I’m going to make a mini-poster to hang on my bedroom wall where I’ll see it as I step out into the day: “You can’t embrace what is trying to hug you while holding onto yesterday’s junk.” I suspect its junk is all that stands between us and genuine joy. I’ll remind myself, too, that even one minute ago can be “so yesterday.”

I’ll be sharing my thoughts about “genuine joy” over the coming weeks, and about things that serve to invite more of it into our lives. What better way to begin than to practice noticing life’s little reminders that it’s on your side and just waiting for you to take its assurance that you are so dearly loved–even when you’re a mess!

The hugs are always there, you know. Go around expecting them to pop into your world at any moment. Chances are, if you think about them during the day it’s because one is trying to get your attention. And all you have to do to grab it is to let go of yesterday’s junk!

It might come as a thought, as a hope, as a new possibility. It might fall across your path as something you hear or read or see in the sky. It might come as a silver lining. A person could bring it, or the mail, or an elephant. Hugs can wear any costume you can imagine, and a bunch of them that you can’t. But every hug life gives you—never, ever forget—comes especially for you and is exactly what you need. So do remember to say thanks. Then be on the lookout for the next one. And the next. And the next.

May you go through the year with open eyes. empty arms, and a peaceful heart.

Happy New Year, my friend.

Warmly,
Susan

^{Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay}

There’s something daunting about settling in at my keyboard to share some moments with you and then realizing, as I begin to type the date, that it’s Christmas!

I’m stunned. Do I need to be especially profound or something? Oh my! What does all of this mean?

I sit perfectly still, unable to form a single thought. My awareness is wholly caught up in the present, in the data my senses convey–the warmth of the room, the lamp’s golden light, the soft holiday jazz drifting through the air. From somewhere near the center of me, a stream of affection spirals into my awareness carrying images of dear ones, far and near. And the magic of the day wraps around me and sinks into me in glistening whispers of peace.

I like what I wrote about it yesterday, this most amazing moment in time: Its light touches us. Now each of us gets to decide how we’ll respond. “Who do you want to be in the light of this new day?” What a delicious question for morning to bring! It’s among her best, I’d say. “What will you do in this new day’s light?” What a gift!

I hope you know that I’m wishing you the very best as the year draws quickly to a close. I’m looking forward to traversing the coming days with you. Great challenges lie ahead. What a privilege to live in such momentous times!

I won’t keep you. I just wanted to send a Christmas hug, and to share a quote about the holiday from Mother Teresa that nicely sums things up for me as well. “It’s Christmas,” she wrote, “any time that you let God love others through you.”

To those of you who celebrate it, Merry Christmas. And to everyone, wishes for peace and joy.

Warmly,
Susan