“Buckle your helmets,” they say. “It’s going to be one heck of a ride.”
For some reason, when I heard that my thoughts flashed back to my childhood and the rickety, old, wooden roller coaster at the amusement park half a mile down the beach from where I lived. People loved it, and on still summer nights I could hear their shrieks through my open bedroom window as they plunged down from the top of its highest hill. We kids loved it, too. Some of our dads ran it on weekends and would let us ride for free when its cars went unfilled.
As I remembered it, a line from an old movie came to mind. I don’t recall any more of it but one scene at the end. A grandmother, her son and his kids were leaving to go to an amusement park and the son suggested she might like to take a whirl on the merry-go-round. “Oh,” she said, “that would be fine. But I much prefer the roller coaster. The merry-go-round just goes around and around in the same old circle. But the roller coaster! That’s where the thrills are!”
There’s a big difference, of course, in plunging down a steep hill on a roller coaster and plunging into the seemingly dire circumstances that life sometimes hurls at us. But the essence is still the same. We go on full-alert, holding on for dear life, praying for a safe landing. In the one case, some part of you knows that it’s just a ride, for the fun of it. In the other case, all you know for sure is that things seem pretty dicey and you better pay attention, assess your resources, and look for ways to get safely to more solid ground.
Nevertheless, it’s all an adventure. And the key to handling life’s cliffs and curves is to trust that we have the wherewithal to see each moment for what it is, letting go of the stories and fears that serve only to pollute our perceptions of reality. Our wondrous minds will unfailingly pull from their stores of experience the best answers they have to guide us in any situation. We’re all far more resourceful that we imagine ourselves to be–and stronger.
A tweet I read this week said, “There are so many things I thought I couldn’t manage. And yet here I still am.” We get through all kinds of emergencies, hardships and challenges. It’s not always easy. Sometimes life comes with sorrow. Sometimes life comes with pain.
When you find that you’re discouraged and weary, take this bit of advice from Yale psychologist Laurie Santos. She teaches a wildly popular course on happiness. “The best self-care is kindness to others,” she says. “The best way to be nicer to yourself is to be nicer to others.” And she has the studies to prove that it’s true.
Her wisdom echoes that of one of my favorite teachers, Tara Brach. When you’re hurting, she says, say to yourself, “This is suffering. Everybody suffers. May I be kind.”
It’s been a difficult year for everyone everywhere. And the challenges keep on coming. Stay present. Breathe. And look for goodness; it’s always there, deep inside every moment.
I’ll leave you with another piece of wise advice as we head into the week’s unknown. This one comes from Kurt Vogenaut: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
Wishing you a week of grace, a grand sense of adventure, and a heart overflowing with love.
Warmly,
Susan