Day 59 – Waiting for Robins

If you know how to listen to trees, you can tell. They might look as if they’re just standing there, not a thought passing between them. But that’s not true.

They’re thinking all right. One thought. Every one of them: “Are they here yet? Have you seen one? Have you heard one sing?”

The tension of their anticipation fills the air. Any day now, any moment, it will happen. Suddenly they will telegraph to each other, “Yes! They’re here! They’re here!”

And even if it snows again, no one will care. When the robins come, spring can’t be far behind.

Cruising Down the River

I saw a poster this week that pictured a guy standing in a field with the outline of a city in the distance. “The world you grew up in,” it said, “doesn’t exist any more.”

“You got that right!” I said right out loud as I read those words. Heck, the worlds we lived in three weeks ago have vanished, never mind the worlds of our childhood. And you know what? As much as we might want them to, they’re never coming back.

You know what else? We get to take all the good parts of our former worlds with us, and all the things we learned from the parts that weren’t so good. They’re all right here, inside us, and nothing and no one can take them away. Every experience we’ve ever had is an integral part of who we are now.

I heard a story once where a little girl asked her grandmother, “Grandma, is everybody like this?”
“Like what?” asked the grandmother.
“Bigger on the inside than on the outside,” the little girl said.

That’s a pretty cool thing for a little kid to realize. Inside, we’re as big as all our memories and imaginings put together. All the people who have touched our lives are there, all the places we’ve been, all the things we’ve done, all the dreams we’ve dreamed.

And it took every one of those things to bring us exactly to where we are now, cruising down time’s river, seeing the sights, planning what we’ll make and do when we get to the next shore.

We can draw on all that we are to choose how we want to be as we go into the river’s next bend. We can see the parts that didn’t serve us, or others, well and drop them in the waters. We can let the parts that brought us joy and love and satisfaction serve as our compass when the river offers us choices between this way or that.

We can remind ourselves to be calm when the waters get rough, knowing we’ve come through storms before. We know how to keep faith when darkness falls, knowing that light will follow.

There’s no reason to fear that we might be lost, because we’re always right here, breathing in the ever-changing now as it slides by.

Yesterdays go where yesterdays go, and we keep them inside us forever.

So be at peace. Be here. And let yourself appreciate the ride

Warmly,
Susan

Day 58 – Walking Among the Fallen Ones

The woods atop the south hill look bleached in the early morning light. The ground, powdered with snow, is littered with fallen trunks and limbs. Some seasons are hard.

Nevertheless, the atmosphere shimmers with the freshness of a new day, just emerging from the night and brimming with countless possibilities. Beneath the snow, the earth hides quickening seeds.

I slowly work my way to the hill’s crest, pausing to listen to the silence, to watch a small bird flutter among the trees’ subtly budding twigs. Beneath my boots damp leaves press into the earth.

The snow sparkles on the logs and branches like a blessing as I step so carefully between them. I count it a privilege to be here. This, this is sacred ground.

Day 57 – Why I Love Cows

I remember it well. It was a cold and dreary day, much like today, one of those late February days when you think winter is going to go on forever. I was driving down country roads returning home from a friend’s house when I saw them, stoically braving the snow as they pushed their square faces through its powder in search of a mouthful of grass.

I stopped beside them and rolled down my window. “Only a few more weeks,” i shouted to them through the frosty air. “The groundhog said so.”

That’s when the one nearest me turned and looked me right in the eyes. From somewhere deep inside her she summoned a deep breath and with great clouds of steam pouring from her nostrils she bellowed, clear as day, “Boooooooo!”

“My sentiments exactly,” I told her. And I rolled up my window and drove on.

Day 56 – The First Green

Look here. Don’t just say “mud” and walk away. Look. Look closer.

See? The first blades of grass are pushing their way up into the light.

Imagine the weight of the saturated soil, the way they have to find a route past the bodies of drenched leaves, past sticks and pebbles.

All birth is a struggle. If you want to be here, you have to work for it. You have to prove your toughness, your determination.

But, oh! The greeting of the light! The touch of air and the music that rides it! The surge of freedom as you burst into the wonder of this world!

What a mystery you have entered! What a great unknown! And yet, how it calls. How every cell of your being cries, “Push on! Push on!”

Day 55 – A Bit of a Blush

It wasn’t much, as sunsets go.
Yet how eagerly my eyes flew
to the blushing pink and coral,
rare colors in this season
of brown woods and fading snow.
I held them to my heart and dreamed
of summer roses draped in tender hues.

Only after I had drunk my fill did I notice
the tracks in the snow on the hill
an X and an O, made by someone at play
and left as a kiss and hug because snow, too,
is loved in someone’s heart.

Day 54 – Their Jeweled Wings

These I count among my treasures, these jeweled wings
gathered from the pathways and grasses I walked on summer days.
I keep them in the back corner of a drawer of the old dresser
in the spare room, tucked between other precious prizes–
the carved ivory animals, the silk and bamboo fans,
my first son’s first shoe, the card that announced his birth.

It’s good, I’ve found, to keep a few mementos,
tangible tokens of your journey through this world,
of the hours you spent, the places you’ve seen,
the company you kept, and of gifts that fell like love notes
floating from the heavens on their tender jeweled wings.

Day 53 – Winter’s Passing

Until you watch the ice along the creek’s edge, the waters look still,
their smooth surface wearing a poker face that masks their speed.

But the ice gives them away. It sails downstream
like leaves riding a great wind toward an inevitable end,
toward the final merging with that from which it came.

Winter passes. Spring whispers in its wake.

From High on Happiness, February 2016

Day 52 – I Promised You

I promised you that when the snow was deep
and I had begun to believe that winter was eternity,
I would remember you. I would remember
your countless shades of green, your plush grass
buzzing with bees and clover, and the smell of it.
I would remember the warmth of your sun
and the blessing of the breeze singing through
your dancing leaves, and the sheer, inviting
welcome of your being.

And now that day has come, the one where I began
to believe that winter would go on forever.
I confess that I didn’t choose to remember;
the memory of you came to me on its own,
drifting across the cold, gently emerging
with a touch of kindness that I could not ignore.

And so I sit here, before my fire, waiting
for the assault of another coming storm,
and I lose myself in your rolling verdant hills
until my eyes tear with gratitude
for the comfort of you, for remembering that
you are as real as the cold, and will return.

From High on Happiness, February 20, 2015

Ready or Not, Here I Come

When I was a kid, one of the favorite games my pals and I played was “Hide and Go Seek.” The person who was the seeker in the game had to face a tree, close her eyes, cover he face with her hands and loudly, slowly count down from ten to one. While she was counting, the rest of the kids would run and hide, “Three . . . Two . . . One . . .” the seeker would shout, “Ready or not, here I come!” Then she would open her eyes and go hunting for her pals and not stop until she found the last one.

I thought of that when I named my goal to complete a 100-day challenge of adding something to my blog here for 100 days. I wasn’t at all sure I could stick with it. 100 days sounded like an awfully long time. Anything could happen between now and the 100th day, after all.

It was while I was wrestling with my doubts that I remembered the advice of one of my most productive friends. The way to get things done, she told me, is to start. As soon as you make the decision that it’s something you want to accomplish, start it. Then just don’t quit until you’re done. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing. Just do something every single day.

She was right of course. That really is the secret. You have to break through the inertia, and you do that by taking the first step, however tentative it might be. So I took my decision to make daily additions to these pages, pinned it to the my mental bulletin board and said to it in the firmest voice I could muster, “Ready or not, here I come!”

Well, I’m pleased to tell you that this week I passed the half-way mark to my goal. Today I made my 51st entry. I can’t say it hasn’t been a struggle on some days. But it’s like that game of hide and seek. You can’t let Mary Lou stay hidden just because she’s been really sneaky and hard to find. You have to keep looking until you find her. Those are the rules. So I persevered. And now I find that I get curious as each day unfolds to see what will end up on my blog’s pages next. It turns out I’ve put some good stuff there, if I do say so myself.

Then, two weeks ago, I got a whim to start a drawing. I make these things I call scribble drawings. They’re doodles of sorts, often decorated with patterns I discovered when I ran across zen doodles a couple of years ago. So I made my scribble on this 8 1/2” x 11” sheet of paper and started to fill it it. It turned out that it was a much more complex project than I thought it was going to be when I began it. It took me the whole two weeks to complete. But I did it. See, right after starting, the most important thing you have to do to reach your goal is to keep on keeping on.

So if you have a notion that you want to accomplish something, now you know what to do. Get started, whether you’re ready or not, and then just don’t give up ‘til you’re done.

Wishing you a week of creative productivity!

Warmly,
Susan