~ A Joy Warrior's Journey
I give you the world as a mirror of your heart.
See in it what you will: The straight
or the crooked, the mountain or the valley,
fullness, or that which is barren, the sunlight
or the clouds. I give it all to you,
and beneath it, I sing my constant song.
Be at peace, child. You are known,
in all your moods and choosings,
and all that you are is loved.
Given the way that tensions are ratcheting up for those of us who live in the US as we enter the last days before our Presidential election, I thought I’d share with you a little exercise you can do to help you recover your inner peace if it gets disturbed. I call it “R&R.”
In military lingo, ”R&R” stands for “rest and recuperation,” and that’s a fine way to deal with stress—to rest from it so your mind and body can normalize. But in this exercise, “R&R” stands for “Release and Receive.”
It’s a kind of first-aid or emergency exercise you can use whenever you notice that you’re feeling an upsetting negative response to a situation or remark.
Here’s how you do it:
Step I: Release
First, notice where the feeling is located in your body. Is it in your chest? Your throat? Your belly? Your shoulders?
Next, find a way to describe it to yourself. Is it hot or cold? Is it solid, or liquid or gaseous? What color is it? How dense is it?
Is it in motion? Is it, for example, throbbing? Or is it still, like a rock? Try to get a good, clear sense of what this negative sensation really feels like.
Once you have it described, see if you can name it. Is it anger? frustration? Sadness? Disgust? Hurt? Disappointment? Fear? Some combination of those?
If you can’t identify the emotion, give the feeling any name to remember it by, like “Sally” or “Fred,” (No offense to any Sallys or Freds out there!) in case you want to call it up for a conversation later.
Now imagine that you’re pulling it, the whole negative feeling, from your body and placing it the palm of your hand. Raise it up so you’re eye to eye with the feeling and can have a talk with it.
Tell it that you know it’s trying to serve you in some way but that you can’t give it the attention it deserves right now, so you’re going to send it to the Wait Space (a little space in a back corner of your mind). Then curl your fingers over it and squeeze it down into a tiny little speck. Now open your palm and gently blow it away.
This completes the “Release” part of the exercise. You can, by the way, do it very quickly. You can even do it completely in your imagination if you are in circumstances where you can’t easily hold the feeling in your hand. But do it as thoroughly as your situation permits.
Step II: Receive
Once you have blown your negative feeling away to the Wait Space, keep your palm open and face up.
Imagine a stream of refreshing comfort, understanding, forgiveness, and peace flowing into it, and from there, into your whole being.
Bonus: The Conversation
To get the maximum benefit from this little exercise, follow up when time permits by having a little conversation with the negative feeling you parked in the Wait Space.
First, open your palm and invite the feeling that you sent to the Wait Space to return. Feel it land on your palm and lift it to where you can comfortably talk with it.
Begin by thanking it for caring so much about you and your values that it made itself so big and loud. Ask it if it has anything that it wants to tell you about why the situation seemed so important and what it wanted for you.Then listen for whatever insights might present themselves.
Ask it if it has anything more that it wants you to know. And when it is finished showing or telling you all that it wants to share, ask if it’s okay for you to let it go now, thank it again, and watch it dissolve away.
This follow up lets you receive the lessons to be learned from the upsetting situation. It can provide you with truly meaningful insights about what happened, why you responded the way you did, and how you might respond in a more effective and helpful way in similar situations that come along.
You may find it worthwhile to do a little run-through with the process right now, recalling a past upset or an imaginary confrontation of some kind. That will make it more real for you and help you install it in your mind as a helpful tool to pull out when it’s needed.
Many of us have deeply held beliefs that we have attached to candidates, parties, or issues in the upcoming election. And it’s our tendency as humans to seek out evidence for our beliefs and to identify with them.
Remember that someone who has chosen to attach his or her beliefs to an opposing side may very well, at the core of things, want the same things you do: well-being for us all.
Each of us can see differing paths for achieving the same ends, and the fact is that if people truly knew how to attain the world of goodness, fairness, and peace for all – the world that we all want – we would have already built it. Right now, we’re all struggling toward it together in a big trial and error dance.
Share your ideas with each other. But bear in mind that vehement arguing does little to persuade. And by all means, please vote.
Then, knowing you have done all that you can do to influence the outcome, return your focus to living the values that lie at the heart of your choices.
Radiate loving kindness and remember, no matter how things may sometimes seem, each of us can be a source of light and comfort in our personal worlds.
Wishing you a week of calm and peace, regardless of the turmoil that surrounds us.
Warmly,
Susan
susan@notesfromthewoods.com
Image by Manfred Antranias Zimmer from Pixabay
Don’t let these warm days fool you.
Do you not see that the sycamores
have given their all? That the gold
of the maples has fallen? In the woods
the squirrels are busily burying nuts
and growing thick fur. Treat this
spell of comfort as a grace, given
you to gather memories of color
and mild air, of flowing waters
where leaves float like boats
and ducks paddle freely
through a still-liquid world.
Take it as a kindness, given
by the Yes, as a treasure for you
to hold in your heart for warmth
when the winds blow cold.
October, having hid a few
of her favorite costumes
in the hollow’s woods,
brought them out
as her final treat, a gift
for all who happened
down a certain country road.
Then, laughing in pleasure
at their delight, she slid into
the shadows of the surrounding
hills, and disappeared.
Now is the time, oh little ones,
to wrap your summer in dreams,
to take your billowing days
and starlit nights, the play
of swallowtails and damselflies,
the woodlands’ whispering songs,
and fold them in your feathers
as your spirits fly away
to the land where memories
are spun into songs that sing
the Yes ‘til spring’s morning.
I work here, in my studio, peering over my laptop
through these panes of antique glass,
noting the way hours change things.
Near the start of October, on a whim,
I decided to photograph the view in a series,
spanning time. Over the course of a few days
I fell in love with a particular leaf that danced
at the farthest tip of a branch
directly across from my window. It was broad
and healthy and green and loved the wind.
Last Sunday I blinked and it had turned bold yellow.
This morning I blinked and it was burnt orange ,
and now the last one on its branch.
I snapped its picture, then dashed off to run
the day’s errands. And when I returned,
it was gone.
Isn’t it interesting, I said to myself,
how the end of even a maple leaf’s dance
can leave such a void in your heart.
Come walk this autumn path with me.
Come gather its color and breathe its perfume
before it fades away. Such magic is rare;
it cannot hold. It lasts for only one day
and then it’s gone. Come, walk with me.
Come watch the last golden leaf-coins fall
across our path. Tuck the smooth, red leather
of the oak into your pocket to spend
on dreams. Listen to the secrets
whispered on the wind as it carries
these bright bits of the season away.
Come walk with me and gather this treasure
for keeping in memory’s store.
Just in time for Halloween
pumpkin-orange tulips popped up
on the shelves of my grocer’s store.
They seemed rather spooky to me,
I admit, quite out of place and time.
A trick of commerce, I scoffed.
But then their beauty won me,
coaxing me to change my view.
It’s not a trick, but a treat, I decided.
Tulips should get to play, too.
A few days back, fewer than I can count
on my fingers, some of the maples
still wore their circus colors, other trees
still held their green. “Trick or treat”
is the call of the season. Now the boughs
are all but bare and the wind howls, ghostlike,
hurling what’s left to the ground.
That’s quite a trick. But be patient.
The treat still lies ahead.
Back in 1971, a beloved comic strip character named Pogo uttered a statement about human nature that’s still repeated to this day.
On Earth Day of that year, the cartoon showed Pogo, who was an opossum, walking through a forest with his friend, Porkypine. Porkypine tells Pogo that the beauty of the primeval forest touches his heart. Pogo, who is walking somewhat gingerly on his tip-toes, replies, “It gets me in the toes!”
It’s the next panel of the cartoon that holds the famous line.
Porkypine and Pogo are resting at the base of a tree overlooking a meadow that’s become a vast junkyard, full of cans, broken bottles, rusting cars, papers, dead appliances, tires. Not a living thing can be seen. Porkypine agrees with Pogo saying, “It is hard walkin’ on this stuff.” Then comes Pogo’s famous line:
“Yep, son. We have met the enemy and he is us.”
The truth of that is certainly clear to us when we decide to clean up a bit of the junk that’s littering our own inner landscapes by ditching a habit that we no longer want in our lives. The part of ourselves that’s the enemy appears as a Temptation.
Temptation is a sneaky guy, wily as can be. But here are three tactics you can use to defeat him.
Temptation is an alert telling you to pay attention, that an arch enemy has entered the scene.
As soon as you notice it, imagine a mighty invisible shield falling between you and the temptation. This shield has the magical ability to stop time long enough for you to remember your intention to go in a different direction now.
As you create this mental scene, take a slow, full breath through your nose. Then sniff in a quick “topper” breath, to fill your lungs completely. Next, purse your lips and blow out vigorously as if you were trying to extinguish a whole bunch of candles on a cake. (Maybe it’s a birthday cake for a new, improved you!) Imagine the air blowing the temptation completely away.
If it’s a cantankerous temptation, you may have to blow a few times. But it will bring you calm and control.
Know your enemy. Think about what tactics he uses to defeat you. You’ve fought this battle before and succumbed to temptation’s trickery. Remember that everything he tells you is a deceptive snare woven of illusions designed to draw you in. The goods he delivers bring temporary gains, but spell your defeat once the moment’s satisfaction has passed.
Catch him in the act, and calmly decline his offer. “I see what you’re doing there. No thanks.”
Being cordial to your enemy disarms him. And you can thank him because this habit he’s tempting you to continue probably served some purpose in the past. You don’t have to remember what it was. You just feel like moving on, that’s all.
He might continue his antics; he knows he’s won before. Get the best of him by smiling as you turn down his offer again. Actually smile. A big, contented smile. And keep on repeating “No thanks. I have other things to do.”
Enlist a friend to remind you that you are a powerful being, capable of refusing anything that stands in the way of your being who you intend to be now. Tell your friend what you’re practicing leaving behind, and what you plan to do with the resources that leaving it opens up for you. Tell him that you could use his encouragement while you take your first steps down this new path.
Or make up an invisible warrior to stand at your side if you like, to reinforce you when temptation threatens. “You can do this” he says, grinning at you.
Remember, “What you practice you get good at.” That’s just the way it works.
So choose to practice being free to be the best that you can be. And keep on keeping on. Because the other side of what Pogo said is that we are also our own best friends.
Wishing you a week of victories!
Warmly,
Susan
Image by Denis Doukhan from Pixabay