Like you, I am greeting the morning with a heavy heart. The events unfolding before us are stunning, to say the least. Who would have believed we would see so much violence, destruction and pain erupt so suddenly to engulf our entire nation!
A friend of mine in West Africa messaged me to ask if I was okay. He had heard about the troubles and that they were racist in origin. I assured him that I was well and not in any immediate danger. I told him there is a phrase, “fog of war,” that means things are very confused when violent events are unfolding, and that we are wise not to leap to conclusions or cast early blame. Especially when events are as large as this, the causes are complex and multi-layered and will take time to sort out.
Then I told him a story a neighbor told me. She and her husband had gone to a nearby town on some errands today. It’s a small town of about 9,000, with a racially mixed population with low to medium incomes for the most part. On the grassy median that divides the main street, my friend told me, a white woman was holding a sign that said, “Free Food,” and a couple black women were handing boxes of groceries and produce to anyone who asked for it. That’s the America I know and believe in.
Even in the midst of the riots that are raging in our cities, I have seen videos of people coming to the aid of those in need–protecting them, offering comfort, working in teams to clean up debris. At our core, that’s who we are, and we will see Americans of every stripe step forward in the days ahead, coming together to rebuild and restore.
It won’t be easy. We are, after all, still coping with the pandemic, and we have no idea what course it will run in the days ahead. And we need to create a unifying vision to bridge all the rifts that have divided us on so many fronts.
One thing we can all certainly agree on is that violence and destruction offer no solutions. No matter how much frustration or anger we are feeling, we need to find creative and constructive ways to deal with each other.
Another friend of mine told me a story that holds one key to how we can do that. One of his relatives has a toddler who is still in his “terrible twos.” He wants what he wants, and he wants it now, and he screams when he doesn’t get it. He’s sort of a microcosm of what’s going on in our society. His mom, as it turns out, is a very smart woman. When he begins to get upset, she tells him, “Use your words. Use your words.” That’s what we all need to learn to do right now–to find the words to say what we want, to express to each other what we need and to talk together about we can help each other meet our needs.
In the meantime, we need to remember that all of us are suffering. We need to exercise patience with each other. And above all, we need to make every effort to be kind.
We’re all part of the human family. We all want peace, however strained it may be from time to time. And the only place peace can begin is within each of our hearts. Be kind.