It is not quite 5 am, and I wake to a fragment of dream that shoots an arrow of pain through my heart.
I turn on my laptop to see if there is any news. Of course there is news. Events are flowing past now at warp speed. But I am looking for something particular. I’m not sure what it is; but if I see it, I will recognize it.
My email is full of offers. They seem quaint somehow, shreds from a vanishing world that is sinking into a sea of confusion, fear, anger, and pain. The suffering speaks in countless tongues through the posts I read on Twitter:
“I’ve cried uncontrollably all week. Life doesn’t seem worth living. If you believe in prayer, I could use a few. My nickname is JoJo. Thank you ahead of time. I’ve lost all my mental strength.”
“My brothers and sisters, I’ve been drinking ALOT lately and my kids are worried. I think I’m addicted so I’m putting it out there. Maybe if I answer to my family it will be incentive to quit. I love my kids so much but my nightmares really make me struggle.”
I sigh, and look up from my computer screen. The sky outside my window is glowing red as the sun pushes toward the top of the eastern hills. Just above the horizon, a layer of clear gold shines beneath the vivid clouds. “Joy,” a voice whispers in my mind as I gaze at the scene and I hear a small laugh escape from my mouth.
“You picked one heck of a time to be a joy-warrior,” I say to myself. “You have your work cut out for you, for sure.” But I am looking out the window, and the clouds are thinning as they rise, and light begins to wash across the hills. The metaphor is clear. I decide to make a cup of coffee. Whatever the day may bring I will welcome.
Everything has meaning. Everything comes to teach, to guide.
Even the darkness has its gifts, even the pain. The No points the way to the Yes. The key is to remember not to fight against, but to fight for.
Remember to ask yourself the right questions:
What soothes? What comforts? What brings laughter? What encourages and inspires?
Where does strength lie? Where is the goodness, the beauty, the truth? What frees?
What are the hidden opportunities? What is the better choice? What is the next best step?
Then listen, and wait for the answers to rise.
They will. We have more wisdom within us than we know.
When the world is in turmoil, listening can be hard. We get entangled in the strands of pain flying all around us. The clouds of uncertainty are thick and deep. The No seems to be screaming from every direction. It threatens our hope and attacks our faith. It keeps us from our sleep.
But always, no matter how dark the night, morning dawns. And beyond the clouds, the sky is infinite and clear. Be open to it, however heavy your heart may be, for it contains gifts for you. Always. Even when you do not immediately understand them. Listen to the Yes of it, follow its song. It will show you your direction and light your way.
Nights, even the sleepless ones, only last so long.