Once a week, three friends and I gather from our various corners of the globe for a chat. We’ve been doing this for 11 years now. Until a couple weeks ago, we talked on the phone. But now we have moved into the Zoom sphere and we meet online, where we can see each other’s faces and show each other things in our environments.
Last week, Patricia showed us the beginnings of her new wool sculpture. You build a frame with wire and wrap wool around it in layers. That’s the essence of it. But the description doesn’t begin to hint at the beauty of the finished product. This is Patricia’s third wool sculpture, and this one is a dancer. We can hardly wait to see the final result.
Anyway, Patricia was talking about her experience in working with this latest piece. She’s learning more sophisticated techniques now, so the work is just above her skill level.
“That’s the perfect place to be to slip into the flow state,” I said. It’s that state of mind you’re in when you’re focused on something intently, paying close attention because it’s just a little bit of a reach. You know you can do it, and it’s kind of exciting to try to get it just right. Then you move on to the next step, and the next one. And before you know it, two hours have slipped by, totally unnoticed. That’s the flow state. You’re doing something just to do it, for the challenge of it. You don’t think about the final result. You might let your ideas about how you want it to turn out guide you. But the result comes later. It’s the doing itself that has your attention. The result just happens as a result.
You don’t feel a lot of emotion when you’re in a flow state. But when you come out of it, you feel a boost, a realization that you’ve been in special place, that you’re invigorated and satisfied at the same time.
You can create a state of flow for yourself any time you want. Whatever you’re doing, even if it’s a routine task, see if you can do better than you’ve ever done before. Do it faster, or more efficiently, or give more attention to the tiny details of it. Pay attention to what you’re doing. Notice things about it that you never noticed before.
Flow is a big part of a key element of well-being, or “flourishing” as the positive psych guys call it. The label it “engagement.” It implies a high interest in the matter at hand, a total involvement with it.
The other elements of flourishing are positive emotions, relationships, meaning, and achievement. They weave together in unique and wonderful ways. One component may far outweigh the others in some people’s lives. Others find they have a fairly balanced mix of all five in their lives. The emphasis varies from person to person. But all of us draw on at least a couple of the components to experience the fullness of life, and we experience all five of them at one time or another.
All of us taste at least some of the positive emotions: Joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, love. They add to life’s zest and heighten our appreciation of its beauty.
Most of us are blessed to have worthwhile relationships in our lives, or to have had them at one time or another. And all it takes is one to know how valuable they are.
Most of us find something that gives us a sense of meaning or purpose, even though the search can be a daunting one if you’re trying to reach for something profound. But meaning doesn’t have to be a deep, cosmic revelation. One study I read said people found meaning in little, close-to-home kinds of things, like enjoying lunch with a friend. For me, meaning is in everything that says Yes to life.
Finally, there’s accomplishment. It’s means the kind of fulfillment or satisfaction or worthy pride you feel when you did something you set out for yourself to do. Maybe it’s sticking in there until you find a job, or earn your degree, or even get out of bed in the morning because you challenged yourself to do it. Recognizing our accomplishments empowers us. It gives us a sense of “I can.”
There’s an acronym to remember the five elements of flourishing, in case you should ever want to consider them, just for the fun of it. You can do a little inventory as you go through your day and notice which of them are in play. The acronym is PERMA, made from the first letters of each element:
P – Positive Emotions
E – Engagement
R – Relationships
M – Meaning
A – Accomplishments
Which one will be adding to your life today? Hmmm?
Me? I’m going to grab my camera and get engaged in a photo-hunt. It’s one of my favorite things.
I’ll be wishing you a week where engagement grabs you, too, and catches you right up in its flow.
Warmly, Susan