It took only minutes for the accident to unfold. But after it, everything my friend Holly and her husband had known as their life had irrevocably changed. He was okay, but first responders had to help him crawl out of his totaled truck.
At first, there was the shock of it, and then the clearing of debris, the assessment of damage and of what was left. It’s no easy task to figure out what to do with a seriously altered reality. I watched to see how my friends would cope.
“It’s another pit in the road, for sure,” Holly said. “But we have shovels.” Those words were enough to assure me that they would find their way. What she was telling me was, “We can cope. We can do this. We have been through trials before.“
Believing in yourself, in your strengths and your resilience, is the first step in moving forward.
“This is My Life Now”
A couple years ago, a storm demolished much of another friend’s farm. As she worked to adapt to her altered world, she kept repeating to herself, “This is my life now.”
The life she had been living was gone. But her mantra helped her to see, first of all, that her life was still hers, however changed.
Repeating “This is my life now” let her see its changes from a fresh perspective. Instead of surrendering to the situation in hopeless resignation, she realized this altered life was hers to live and welcome, whatever it might hold. She was free to do with it whatever she chose, and she chose to live it as creatively as she could and to uncover all the possibilities it presented.
In the Face of the Unknown
Life can slam the door on our familiar lives at any moment. It brings devastating weather, accidents, illness, loss, betrayal, wrecked plans. But it’s never what happens to us that counts; it’s how we respond to what happens that matters.
We learn things about ourselves from our trials, about what truly matters to us, about our capabilities and values, about the depth of our faith.
Nevertheless, the shock of sudden and unexpected change can be painful. That’s when it’s important to remember that HOPE stands for “Hang On, Pain Ends.”
As the pain of shock lessens, we begin to adapt to our altered reality. We pick up the pieces. We learn to pace ourselves, to conserve our energy, to look for resources, and helpers, and ideas. We learn to be patient; recovery takes time.
The fact is life goes on – even when we wish it didn’t. The direction it goes depends, to a very large extent, to how open we are to seeing that every setback, every obstacle opens the door to new possibilities. The key is to look for what’s good, to draw on our resilience and ingenuity, and to keep on keeping on.
We get to decide who we want to be in the face of the unknown. We can see ourselves as victims or victors, to be overcome by our circumstances or to be one who overcomes them and turns them to good. We can fall into the pit in the road or remember that we have shovels.
Wake up saying, “This is my life now,” and welcome it for all the potential it holds. Then do your best, moment by moment, to squeeze all the juice from the day that you can. Life’s a crazy place. But it holds as much joy as sorrow. Be brave and bold. Dare to claim life’s goodness and beauty. Every day that you get through has its gifts. Every day you’re alive, you’re a winner.
Wishing you courage and peace.
Warmly,
Susan
Photo, property of author’s friend